Brides Know Best

[aaadisco 0]

Well had an interesting evening tonight.

 

Did a wedding via an agency and the client had said they wanted a mix with a litte cheese but no macarena etc..

 

I was asked to play top 40 tunes before the first dance so I did. Then after the first dance played a bit of soul & motown which went down fairly well. Then I was asked to play new stuff and this killed it, I started to build the floor up then was asked to announce the buffet which resulted in a mass exodus off the dance floor.

 

Anyway it got going about 10.30pm and it seemed that the crowd wanted older tunes. The bride came up to me and said could you put on Usher OMG so I did and it cleared the floor then half way through a few of her friends came to dance. She then walked over again and said could you play old stuff again which I did and this cleared the floor, I got back after a few tunes but this happened quite a few times and meant that I didn't really get a chance to flow and build the night.

 

By 11.30pm I was played queen, bryan adams etc in to Living on a prayer which was going down a storm.. she asked the venue to tell me to put motown back on. The guy from the venue laughed and said it will be interesting to follow Bon Jovi with Motown. He could see what was happening. Anyway I did as asked and lots of people on the floor stopped dancing and looked at me as if to say what the hell are you doing?

 

It wasn't a bad night as people were dancing on and off and the bride and groom were very happy with me at the end, however I felt that the bride didn't really get the best out of me by constantly telling me to change genres.

 

It is a classic conflict of interest, the bride and groom want everyone to have a good time and enjoy their wedding but when they start telling you constantly what to play then they are forcing their tastes on everyone.

 

In this instance, I go with what the bride asks for as she is the one to keep happy on her wedding day.

 

As this one was through an agency, I didn't get to do my pre-event meeting. Normally after the meeting, the couple build trust in me and tend to leave me to work the floor.

 

I'm sure that many of us have had this dilema before. To sum up, not a bad night but quite frustrating really :wall:

 

 

 

 

[DJMickeyk 0]

I would definately announce over the mic that you are playing the brides selection etc and try to get her friend out on the floor. I have had that in the past and it is very annoying to lose the floor because of somebody telling you to play something you know in your heart and soul won't work. TBH I don't get it very often normally i just get a short "preferred songs" list in advance of the event which is fine. I stopped taking set playlists after a few bad experiences with them, but if a bride comes up to you on her night looking for XYZ you don't really have any option but to go with it and make the best of it, the mic is your friend in these situations.

[aaadisco 0]

She specifically asked for me not to talk on the mic much lol :-)

 

I've used that trick before, this one is for our lovely bride etc...

[Dukesy 0]

When I first moved to this area, one of my first bookings here was at a Venue near to Warrington. It was a Wedding and the Bride and Groom wanted to choose their own music playlist from start to finish.

 

I did politely interject during the pre-event meeting, with advice that from experience of covering 1000's similar functions, that the 130 other guests may also like to make their own requests and may not all be into the same Genre of music as the B&G, however they weren't having any of it and had set their minds on a one genre playlist and since I did have enough material to cover it, then what the hell, their choice.

 

As expected, a limited music playlist didn't gel or work well with the crowd and the guests weren't at all happy to sit there all night listening to the music requests of two people. After the first 30 mins or so, the visits to the stage began with people saying 'Is this all you've got mate' and 'when are you going play some 70's' and 'will you play this....'

 

As time wore on, the crowd began to get pretty menacing, not in a threatening manner but in the sheer number of them surrounding me at the console all jabbering, finger pointing and complaining about the music. In the end I had to hush them down, and state clearly that I was sorry and that I had plenty of other music with me, but unfortunately the bride and groom had stated implicitly that I had to stick to their playlist and only the material contained within, I even waved it at them so they could see. I did also say that if the B&G relented and said I could accept the guests requests that I would be more than happy to put other genres on and play the usual wedding mixture but it would have to be the B or G who told me to do so as I was following their requirements.

 

Needless to say some of the guests did go and asked the B&G if I could change the music or play something else, but the answer was no, but at least the audience were aware that it wasn't my choosing and I was only doing what I was paid to do and following instructions and the mithering ceased. Of course, seeing people leaving early or sat there unimpressed with the night and clearly not enjoying themselves went against the professional grain of what I do, but what can you do? :shrug:

 

At first I was worried that it was a Northern thing :shocking: , however a succession of more musically 'normal' gigs since has reassured me that it was something of a one-off (thankfully).

 

The whole experience wasn't especially pleasant and did leave me considering and examining whether i'd accept a function with such a specialised / limited music playlist again, certainly not at a Wedding of mixed age groups where something for everyone is typically expected

 

 

 

[PWES 0]

 

Always a tough one when you want to do a great job, but the customer (Bride) is ALWAYS right, no matter what

 

I seen this subject elsewhere, and some DJs get concerned that they wont be; asked for cards, please the venue, pull any girls etc etc. You must do the best job for the customer at hand on the day, and if they are happy, then you did a good job !

[DJMickeyk 0]

The whole experience wasn't especially pleasant and did leave me considering and examining whether i'd accept a function with such a specialised / limited music playlist again, certainly not at a Wedding of mixed age groups where something for everyone is typically expected

This is actually the reason why I stopped taking set playlists myself, one groom gave me two CD's that he had mixed and recorded himself as he said he was a DJ too, it was really terrible and despite pleas from myself and some of the guest he wouldn't relent and let me do my own thing. Ireally enjoy Dj work in general, but would just prefer to let somebody else do these ones, I suppose if I was a full time dj, depening on the fee my attitude might be different.

[bluejools 0]

The person paying the cheque - who is normally B&G is always right - i have a had a couple that did lead balloon - and a couple where they really knew their guests as well.

 

Dan - I once told the guests - its the Brides playlist, I'm really sorry - and ended up with a crying bride (and angry groom) next to me 4 soungs later after alot of people had asked them to change.

 

After that "moment" i now take the comments and criticism alike and say over and over again "I havent got it with me" despite the obvious number of cd's laying about.

 

This is followed by the "can i have a look at your cd's" but that has certainly been a different topic

[sweetie 0]

The person paying the cheque - who is normally B&G is always right - i have a had a couple that did lead balloon - and a couple where they really knew their guests as well.

Dan - I once told the guests - its the Brides playlist, I'm really sorry - and ended up with a crying bride (and angry groom) next to me 4 soungs later after alot of people had asked them to change.

After that "moment" i now take the comments and criticism alike and say over and over again "I havent got it with me" despite the obvious number of cd's laying about.

 

This is followed by the "can i have a look at your cd's" but that has certainly been a different topic

 

Why should you take the brunt of it? You are doing as asked and probably not going to get any referrals/gigs from it but the bride and groom are somewhat to blame if they have invited someone that could be so nasty to them and cause them to be upset.

 

They are guests at a wedding. If I'm a guest in someones house I play by their rules and don't complain or change the channel when they are watching their soaps or change the stereo to another song when they are lsitening to something I dislike. Unless they have explicitly asked my opinion I won't comment.

[Dukesy 0]

Dan - I once told the guests - its the Brides playlist, I'm really sorry - and ended up with a crying bride (and angry groom) next to me 4 soungs later after alot of people had asked them to change.

 

I would imagine that its a very small risk. I was simply telling them the truth, when asked / confronted several times as to 'Why I was playing that particular genre of music and having to flatly refuse point blank to play the requests of the 130 other people in the room'. It was a fact after all, that the B&G had expressly forbidden me to play any requests from the guests which weren't on their playlist and I was just following their wishes.

 

There was no non-disclosure contract involved, I don't believe there was any reason to be secretive or why the B&G wouldn't want their evenings music policy wishes known to their family and friends, they had to sit through and listen to it, after all.

 

Of course, there were other options available. One of which was to just nod and agree with the comments about how unprofessional my choice of music was, or lie and make myself the whipping boy in saying that it was the only type of music I ever played at Weddings and make out that it was me who was arrogantly and constantly refusing to play their requests just for the hell of it or to be awkward - which I can see, would sit well with some of them!.

 

The second option could, of course, quickly heat up the situation, cause trouble and perhaps even the inevitable police attendance, which I am sure WOULD have upset the B&G more than the relatively small risk of an isolated guest upsetting them, given in your example!.

 

The guests of course all know the B&G in some way, and so would probably be far more likely to accept and fully respect their wishes on THEIR day when told of the accurate facts without creating any 'scene' or further trouble, which makes a largely difficult situation easier for everybody, rather than having me lie and perhaps needlessly ruffle feathers by telling them that the largely unfavourable music choice for the night was entirely my doing and my choice. I am of course, a 'nobody', and therefore 'fair game' and a fair target to take out frustrations on, verbally abuse etc, compared to the couple, whose wedding day plans and wishes should largely be respected, by all attending.

 

I'm sure we've all had a guest approach us at some point in our career, and ask for a totally unsuitable track (for the occasion) or an obscure album track which we don't carry with us, and occasionally suffered the usual dummy spitting retort along the lines of 'call yourself a DJ' or other verbal abuse, i've read that some DJ's have even being threatened over such a trivial matter.

 

Imagine being in that situation where its not just one person you are refusing, but where you had a crowd of people milling around you, all wanting to know why you won't play their requests and some of them quite frustrated when asking why you are constantly playing hours of exactly the same type of music to an empty dancefloor. I chose that honesty was the best policy, leaving aside the fact that the B&G should have perhaps made their strict music policy clear on their invitations in the first place.

 

What would happen if the Bride wanted you to play on for an extra 30 mins / 1 hour?. Would you agree to do this without any reference to her checking with the venue management to gain permission first?, because there was a small risk that she might turn on the waterworks if you do......

 

It is a classic conflict of interest, the bride and groom want everyone to have a good time and enjoy their wedding but when they start telling you constantly what to play then they are forcing their tastes on everyone.

 

I do think that once again the whole situation of some clients telling us what to play on a nuts and bolts, track by track basis does hark back to the public perception of the 'unskilled - anyone can do' perception of the labour aspect of our profession and that some people just see us as the human jukebox in the corner and just one step up from their I-Pod and a borrowed P.A. I'm sure that the same people who don't think twice about giving us a strict track-by-track playlist to follow or telling us how to work a dancefloor, wouldn't dream of advising the Surgeon on how to remove their appendix or a mechanic on how to replace their clutch :hurt:

 

After that "moment" i now take the comments and criticism alike and say over and over again "I havent got it with me" despite the obvious number of cd's laying about.

 

For an ENTIRE Evening?. I'm not just talking about not being able to play one or two tracks and using our discretion, i'm talking about a B&G wanting nothing but a single genre of music for an entire evening, and having to refuse to play anything different when asked to by their guests.

 

So in that situation, you'd state and stand by the fact that for an entire 4 or 5 hour disco you'd tell anybody coming and asking for a request (or for you to change the music style to something else) - that you couldn't play anything different because you didn't carry any Rock'N'Roll, 60's, 70's, Disco, Motown, Soul, Cheese, Party Stuff or any of the current top 40 with you?.

[flash911 0]

I have done few gigs where the organiser has said"NO CHEESE" only to be asked for the Fromage.

I have explained politely thats its the organisers choice and to make sure its ok for me to play it.

The organiser has then come too see me and said yes.

I know I am only an employee but I WILL NOT !! be blamed for some ones elses music choice.

I want to get more work from the gig, NOT lose any possible bookings through some one elses music choice

[Paul The Party DJ 0]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you didn't get to do your pre-event meeting. I offer a no-obligation free first meeting at the end of which I've secured their booking and have a feel for what they want. I then schedule a second meeting for between 2 and 4 weeks before the event. By then we have built a relationship, we both understand what is required and how we are going to achieve it - if I feel their suggestions are not going to give them a great party I tell them what I'd like to change - then it's their choice.

It's all about the relationship - turning them into friends who trust you - well that's my two-pence worth!

Cheers, paul

[gadget 0]

Agreed. Weddings -> pre-event meeting a must!

 

I think i forgot to mention this on the phone last week for a last minute wedding enquiry that unfortunately didn't pan out... (although it was to do with price than anything else - they found another DJ cheaper).

 

David

[djbogie 0]

i have a wedding coming up, thank goodness i have a meeting with bride before hand as i have recieved a list of songs they want played, some are ok, but think that faitless - god is a dj and dizzee's bonkers might not suit the more mature guests

 

below is some of the requests

 

 

Heres the List Of Songs I Would like Played I Will Also Take A Copy To The Meeting.

 

1. Blondie - Call Me

2. David Guetta Feat Fergie - Getting Over You

3. Lady Gaga - Poker Face , Love Game , Paparazzi

4. Eminem - Love The Way You Lie & Not Afaraid

5. The Beach Boys - Wouldnt It Be Nice

6. Kenny Loggins - Footloose

7. Rihanna - Ponde Reply & Rude Boy & SOS

8. Alexandra Burke - All Night Long & Bad Boy & Broken Heels

9. Beyonce - Single Ladies & Sweet Dreams & Crazy In Love

10. Meatloaf- Bat Out Of Hell

11. McHammer - Cant Touch This

12.Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow & I Gotta Feeling

13. Beatles - Let it Be & Hey Jude & Help

14. Queen - We Will Rock You & I Want Too Break Free

15. Lady Marmalade - Moulin Rouge

16. Madness - Baggy Trousers

17. The Commitments - Mustang Sally

18. Freda Payne - Band Of Gold

19. Pitbull - Hotel Room Service

20. Basshunter - Now Your Gone & All I Ever Wanted

21. Tiesto - Titanic Mix

22. Dolly Parton - 9-5

23. Spice Girls - Spice Up Your Life

24. Kesiha - Tik Tok

25. Cotten Eyed Joe

26. Cascada - Bad Boy & Everytime We Touch & Evacuate The Dancefloor

27. Journey - Dont Stop Believing

28. Bryan Adams - Everything I Do 

29. Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting For You 

30. Guns & Roses - Sweet Child Of Mine Paradise City Live And Let Die 

31. Kylie Minouge - All The Lovers , Locomotion 

32. The Killers - Human , Mr Brightside 

33. Kings Of Leon - Sex Is On Fire , Use Somebody 

34. Girls Aloud - Love Machine 

35. Ricky Martin - Living La Vida Loca 

36. James Brown - Sex Machine

37. Akon Feat David Gueatte - Sexy Chick 

38. Conga 

39. We No Speak Americano 

40. Jackson 5 - ABC 

41. Michael Jackson - Thiller , Billie Jeans 

42. Stevie Wonder - Supersition 

43. Madonna - Like A Virgin 

44. Alannah Myles - Black Velvett 

45. Diana Ross - Chain Reaction , Upside Down 

46. Alicia Keys - No One , Doesnt Mean Anything 

47. Tina Turner - Rolling On The River 

48. Rhianna - Please Dont Stop The Music , S.O.S , Ponde Reply 

49. David Bowie - Ashes To Ashes , Lets Dance 

50. Faithless - Music Matters , God Is A Dj 

51. Dizzie Rascal - Bonkers , Hoilday 

52. Florence And The Machine - You Got The Love 

53. Prince - Purple Rain 

54. AC/DC - Shook Me All Night 

55. Aerosmith - I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing 

56. Eliza Dolittle - Pack Up 

57. Kevin And Perry - Follow Me

 

[flash911 0]

A goodmix there.