Playlists from Hell

[DJTREV 0]

Gary's list to me is the list from hell.

I go along with Gary on this one.Ian's requested music is more likely to be widely acceptable and I dont think he is being unreasonable.At least you have plenty of time to dicuss the problem with all parties and come to some agreement,hopefully.

I cant imagine any dj from this forum being so unaccomodating.

[Paul Smith 0]

QUOTE

Do Not Play List - If the guests request this music, please let them know we have requested it not to be played. If tbey insist, please invite them to get married have a wedding, and then pay your fee for the evening and they can request whatever they want

 

When I read this I thought 'What a very selfish attitude' after all these people are their guests and should be looked after by them which includes allowing the DJ to play music that they (the guests) choose.

 

I had a similar function recently where the bride had stipulated 'No cheese' and gave a long list of artists/bands she considered fell into this category. Most of the requests I received during the night were on this banned list and had to be declined much to the disappointment of those guests. http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/sad.gif

 

At one point the best man asked for a 'banned song' and told me it was the grooms (& the grooms mates) favourite. I checked with the groom who confirmed this and his wifes' response was 'OK I'll allow him one, but only one' http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/scared.gif I was surprised that her wedding outfit didn't consist of a trouser suit http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif

 

Whenever Gary mentions one of these it seems to coincide with a list arriving in the post for me. This time is no exception and a page of 41 songs arrived on my doormat this morning for an 18th in a couple of weeks - although at first glance it's not too bad and at least it does contain 'popular music'.

 

Good luck Gary http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/smile.gif

 

PaulS

[kazzachi 0]

Ian - I think that the hotel is out of order... My resident hotel only recommend me... they dont insist that every client books me. You could try talking to the manager, and tell him that as you are going to be specific on your music requirement, you want an assurance from the venue that the dj is able to cater for your particular needs. I think as the hotel is being unreasonable in insisting that you MUST HAVE their dj, then I would tell the manager in no uncertain terms, that if the dj does not play what you specifically require, then you will not be happy to pay the djs bill at the end. Out of interest, does the hotel bill you for the services of the dj - or does the dj bill you direct?...... I presume the latter which means that the hotel will actually "make" out of the dj.

 

Anyway, its YOURS and SHARONS day... and if you cant get the service you want, then I would serously consider choosing another venue where you are allowed to make your own choice of entertainment.

[otronics 0]

What a thread this has turned out to be!

 

Enjoy it, there is some GREAT stuff there (especially the rarities like Lemonheads)

[Paul Forsyth 0]

Great thread!

 

Gary, looks like you've got a challenge on your hands here.

 

I'd go for being as honest as possible with the bride & groom. Let them know your concerns, and as someone else said ask them if they want you to help create a night where both they and their guests are entertained.

 

I always have my "don't dares" list on public view, next to my request sheets by my stand. It usually brings a few chuckles (even from people whose requested track is on the list)

 

While I agree with your concern for the night, I'd say, keep an open mind, this could turn out either way, hopefully one of your best nights. Although we all build our business through word of mouth, we have to be careful not to fall into a place where we are ignoring the clients wishes because we are afraid it might affect potential business from their guests. I know because I've felt this in the past "what if they think this is my usual set and no-one even considers booking me http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/fear.gif . Then you've got to think whether you're there to do a job or advertise your business, if you're that worried about your reputation the only thing to do is turn the gig down. ( I know it's not an option here)

 

Great one to ponder on (and one that would probably strike fear into most of us) but in spite of our natural tendancy to think the worst in these cases I'msure you'll have a great night.

 

Look forward to hearing the story....................

 

http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/thumbup.gif Good luck

 

Vinnie

[C.S 0]

After i did an anglo french/norwegian wedding with a 250 song list i decided that at future weddings i would not allow anymore than 10 songs on a playlist including the first dance! Arrogant i know but i still seem to get the bookings i need and i ask the customers to either trust my judgement or find another dj.

[Ian Stewart 0]

QUOTE

70's & 80's soul, some older funk tunes and some jazz....which is, to my mind a fairly easy-going, widely acceptable selection of genres.

 

well not specifically as wmost of us if asked for this style of music would play , the usual 80's soul weekender & disco anthems, we would throw a fit if we hear circles, ain't nobody, somebody elses guy, candi staton etc and on the jazz front we are talking Eddie jefferson, Alive, Richie Cole, Eddie Russ & the like, probably 50% of our guesta may not know them all, but hey its our day & I don't give a damn about every one elses music taste

 

dan, is the only one so far to see my point, if a client asks for specific music, he/she is not being difficult, just asking for what we like, when we think that they are the clients from hell, perhaps we should see their point of view, because we could be seen as the DJ from hell.

 

just to let you know, we chose another venue, and have approached the cool DJ we want to play,

[Gary 0]

The difference Ian, is that you've listed a few genres...a general "idea" of what you're keen to listen to, rather than submitting 83 tracks for a gig thats only long enough for 60 of them (without getting "silly" on the Pitch control..... +50%...)

 

You've gone for the much more versatile "Heres the sort of thing we're after" approach leaving time for guests requests, rather than the "This one, and this one, and then this one" angle... which I've unavoidably ended up with.

 

I'm definately thinking of politely wording a "Limit" onto future music sheets, of say, 20 tracks (thats still around 1.5 hours worth). But then some hirers might think well, I'm hiring the Disco for 4 hours, so I should be able to have "my" choice of music for all 4 of those hours that Im paying for. I understand that point of view, but my primary concern is that no-one, including this bride & groom know ALL the music tastes of all their friends and families - time should be allowed for the guests to make their choices of music, so long as those choices dont directly appear on the "forbidden" list.

 

I've had a quick search through my collection, and out of the 83 tracks requested, I've got 55 of them - possibly a few (4 or 5) more lurking on vinyl - thats still more than enough to fill the 4 hour gig with. I'm adamant (no, I dont mean that I've got a white stripe across my nose) that I'm not buying any CD's to fill in the gaps, as I doubt I'll get the "plays" out of any such CD's to justify it. I'll already be investing my time in listening to the 55+ tracks that I'll be playing off of their list to get a feel for fast, medium, slow and "funeral derge" songs etc - to enable me to match certain songs to the audiences mood. (hard hat at the ready!).

[transeurope 0]

I have watched this thread evolve with interest. MOST weddings in Ireland, Germany and the US have such lists now.

 

This was not the way in Ireland until about the last four years and it is a bit daunting when you come across it at first. We learned this from our American cousins, along with such other cultural delights as er, McDonalds and er, bagels...anyway...

 

[sidenote: why do we always get the McDonalds end of American culture and never their cheap prices and powerful internet facilities??? http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/014.gif ]

 

Anyway, these type of weddings go surprisingly well. Treat them a bit differently to a UK style wedding disco. Accept that the dancefloor will frequently be less than optimal, but as other people have said it is the B&G's night.

 

Very important: DO keep the request list by your side. If anyone decides to take a hack off you just be very firm and don't apologise.

 

A typical conversation may happen like this:

 

"All the music you are playing is weird, why don't you play Gloria Gaynor..yadda yadda"

At this point take out your list and say "this is music specified by the bride and groom, do you want me to call the best man or chief bridesmaid so you can discuss it with him/her?"

Of course they never do...

 

DO not get bogged down in a conversation about the relative merits of various music. Several people I know have made "confidential" but not insulting remarks about the playlist to guests such as "Search me, it's all weird to me, but it's what they want" only to have this recounted to the bride possibly with amplification and exaggeration.

 

Remember some people at a wedding are only there because pressure was applied to the bride and groom to invite them against their better judgement. A certain per centage of these people will from time to time cause trouble deliberately and may involve you as a bit actor.

 

If anyone asks me to comment on the music (as I am extremely well known for having a preference for dance and soul), I just say "different strokes for different follks, I just enjoy seeing people enjoying themselves". This has the advantage of a) being true b) being totally incapable of being twisted into something negative.

 

Many people have commented in this thread that the song list is good. It is not to my taste, but I would have to say that it is good material. I think the night will go well.

 

When people provide me with a song list that is too long, I don't even comment. I just make sure that people specify which songs are their favourite. I have NEVER had someone come up to me saying "you didn't play all the songs", sometimes in the early part of this craze I did get "you never played xxxx and it was my favourite". This made me feel bad so I know I get them to highlight their favourite songs, and if there is a story attatching such as a holiday, so much the better if they tell me.

 

Try not to get bogged down in the details of which song is going to be axed. Several people I know do this and it ends up being agonising with people ringing up saying "oh, we said cut the Ramones, but it's Billy's favourite song, can you put it back in?". As has been said elesewhere in the thread, DJs are not a human jukebox. You know how much time is available. You can judge which songs are optimal to play.

 

I am sure it will go well, most people like to see the B&G enjoy themselves. Once you understand the goal is not dancefloor maximisation and the crowd understand there is a playlist....things go fine.

 

 

[Ian Stewart 0]

just to let you know, as a DJ, i ask for 15 tracks that i guarentee to play, any other tunes are at my discression.

 

If I was presented with a list, I would probably play the tunes for them, if I did not have the tunes, I'd ask them to provide the CD's for me to play.

 

as with your case, if there are too many tunes, I would inform the bride & groom of this and ask them to cut it down.

 

What you will proably find is that things will change on the night, after a few requests, and hardly anyone dancing the bride & groom will change their minds & leave it up to you

[RobbieD 0]

I wish you luck Gary.

 

Regarding wording a "Limit" onto future music sheets, this is what I do.

 

If I don't have a planing meeting with my customers (always do for weddings) I send them a single sided A4 request sheet which has three sections:

 

The must play section only has four lines to encourage people to not enter any more (but doesn’t prevent them). The text at the top of this section reads "please enter the artist, title, and any dedication, for songs that you would like played here. (You can include a first dance in this section.) I will then endeavour to make sure that these songs are played during the main part of the evening."

 

The next section is titled "Also Like:" is around half the page and has around 15 lines. The text accompanying reads "Please list any other songs you would like to hear and I will TRY to include them in to the rest of the evening. Please keep in mind that it is only possible to play around 15 songs an hour. Therefore to allow me the flexibility to include other popular songs, as well as requests from your guests on the night, please try to keep this to less than another 15 songs."

 

The "Do Not Play" section is around a third of the page (of A4) (around 10 lines) again designed to limit how many songs they put down.

 

However I get the ocassional customer who will provide a seperate sheet of songs as my form "didn't have enought room" for all the songs they want played. http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/wallbash.gif

[Eskie 0]

I'd agree with Ian on this one.

It is the B&G's day and if they want a certain type of music so be it, they are paying for it after all. Why should they have to listen to Kylie for example if they can't stand her music? http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/533.gif

Some people have used the reasoning that they are being selfish if they don't agree to a guests request, well you could turn this around and say that the guest(s) is/are being selfish asking for something they may know the B&G don't like, or something which they probably listen to at home all the time?

 

The majority of dj's if asked for jazz/funk/soul etc would play the typical Luther, Jocelyn, Kool & The Gang type stuff. I know for a fact that many of the people at Ian's wedding wouldn't be impressed with that at all. Likewise at my b/day party last year, many of my friends are into similar stuff that I'm into and so a mate of mine who was the dj, played this stuff (Funk, rare-groove, modern soul, reggae, lovers-rock etc). Not a Shakatak, Village People or J-Lo record in sight http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/tongue.gif There were probably a few of the people I invited who maybe weren't into it, but hey, I laid out a load of money for that party, the first party I'd had for many years, why should I listen to some commercial crap that I hear all the time and don't particularly like? Anyway, my mate was right on the ball as the dancefloor was packed the whole night. http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/notworthy.gif

 

I've done a couple of weddings with similar request lists to the one Gary has listed. Both were superb, and at both many of the B&G's friends were indeed in to the same sort of stuff. At one for example the bride asked me to play 2 or 3 tracks from a Pixies album very early on. I had my doubts as to whether this would work or not, but as soon as I played the first track "Debaser" virtually all the guests rushed onto the dancefloor http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/smile.gif , from there i was able to go pretty deep into a variety of underground & indie type stuff such as the White Stripes, Strokes, Cult, Cure, Smiths, Punk, Doors etc. Dancefloor was packed for most of the night and the B&G were ecstatic at the end of the night that I hadn't played Sophie Stuckup- Bextor & Abba all night like they were dreading and they gave me a glorious reference http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/thumbup.gif

 

I'm very much into the school of thought that a wedding is a special day for the B&G first & foremost and I will try whereever/however possible to keep them happy. I will of course try to also keep the dancefloor as busy as possible and also play as many guests requests as possible, BUT as long as the B&G are happy then that is THE most important thing in my book, and if this means upsetting uncle Sid then so be it http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/rolleyes.gif

[kazzachi 0]

Very well said eskie! Im glad Ian wasnt made to book the venue dj against his better wishes..... Its the venues loss - and now at least Ian can get the dj he wants playing the music he wants.... he is paying the piper and calling the tunes!

[C.S 0]

Ian Stewart Posted on Sep 24 2004, 02:44 PM

QUOTE

just to let you know, as a DJ, i ask for 15 tracks that i guarentee to play, any other tunes are at my discression. If I was presented with a list, I would probably play the tunes for them, if I did not have the tunes, I'd ask them to provide the CD's for me to play. as with your case, if there are too many tunes, I would inform the bride & groom of this and ask them to cut it down. What you will proably find is that things will change on the night, after a few requests, and hardly anyone dancing the bride & groom will change their

 

 

 

YES YES YES, great advice methinks http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/notworthy.gif

[Hugmaster 0]

Hi folks

 

Thought a topic about Playlist belonged in music to leave the weekend gigs a chance to shine a bit http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif

 

Sorry for the inconvenience.

 

Darren

[Kingy 0]

There seems to be two very different camps on here now:

We have the CUSTOMER IS RIGHT and the OH MY GOD! camps.

 

My honest opinion is for both Ian's and Gary's gigs is that I would not touch either.

 

When I do a gig, I go out of my way to use 24 years of experience to give my customers (ALL OF THEM) a great nights entertainment. To achieve this I need to feel confident about the style of music I am playing. I try to reach everyone, probably using the "Lowest Common Denominator" approach. If I feel that a song fits in, then I will play it, if not I probably will not gamble and loose the dance floor just to pacify one punter.

 

Ian's gig sounds the better to me, possibly too underground for me, but I would rather play the more "obscure" soul tracks than any of the rock/indie stuff on Gary's list.

 

How many times have we all done gigs where an unexpected oldie has recieved an enormous cheer when its played...I dont personally think I have ever had an adverse reaction to the tracks Ian has listed, they are all brilliant tracks. How can anyone throw the dummy out at these? Each song has memories attached I'm sure.

 

As for the Hotel, they are being totally unfair in not allowing Ian to bring in another Disco to the one they have. They wouldn't say "this is the only meal we serve, you have no alternative!" would they? They may have theeir preferences, but surely, thats all they are! I would move the gig Ian (or at least threaten to).

 

Gary, I am sure you will give your best for these selfish people, BUT, I would have rung them and clearly explained my reasons for not wishing to perform at this function. I would hate it!

 

Ian, good luck with your celebrations, I am sure the hotel will give in...!!!

 

 

PS. I am not available on either of these dates....sorry LOL! http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/alcoholic.gif

[mick 0]

Interesting discussion this, I have been in business for thirty years motor trade, fun fair and music/disco and one thing that has always paid off for me is being honest with my clients. I never take on a job that I can't see through. In this case I would not be the right man for the job and I would tell them. To play a list you need to know each track and where to play it to keep the party going. I would help the B & G find another DJ who specialises in their choice of music. I am never afraid of passing on a job because it woks both ways. I am a god party DJ I make this clear from the first contact with my client. I hope i'm not a Dave Doubledecks that has been mentioned however I am right for the work that I take on and feel happy doing this. I once did a party (suprise) and did not talk to the client direct. He was into northern soul in a big way so when he told me on the night I invited him to look through my music catalogue and pick out a few tracks. I apologised that I did not have a massive collection but he was cool about it, however I always get as much info now before I take a booking. Music is a very personal thing and that is what makes it so interesting. You would be hard pressed to find someone who is a specialist in every type.

[Gary 0]

My action plan for this is as follows (subject to change, on a whim... ).

 

 

1) I'm going to attempt to get ALL of the 28 or so requested tracks, which I didn't already have. The HMV/Wippit/CocaColamusic on-line, legal, payable download services should be able to assist greatly for very little cost compared to me searching and buying a fistful of albums with only one or two tracks each of the tracks which I need.

 

2) I wont speak to the Bride & Groom about the impossible length (eg: too many tracks for the short gig, until the beginning of the night itself - I dont want to give them the option of making any sort of even wierder lists or contingency plans.

 

3) I will be distributing request slips to the guests as usual, however I will also be printing out some information slips, possibly on the rear of the request slips, or maybe on a seperate A6 sized form asking the guests not to ask for any of "The following tracks/artists, as the Bride & Groom have specifically asked for these not to be played during "their big day". This should nip any "kylie" requests "in the bud".

 

4) I will ascertain from the Bride and Groom at the beginning of the night, what percentage of the nights music they want to be "their" music, and what percentage should be for their guests music requests (going along with the "forbidden list" at all times).

 

5) If the bride & groom choose a percentage that is WAY over 50%, then I might put a copy of their playlist on each table, along the lines of "Here are a list of songs which the Bride & groom have specifically asked for this evening...enjoy!"

 

In the meantime, I'm down for a lot of swotting up on listening to all the tracks which I dont know well (yet!).

 

 

 

UPDATE: True to my word, I've been "auditioning" the tracks which I was unfamiliar with - its getting easier and easier to whittle down their original 5 and half hours, as some of their tracks contain swearing. Not just the mild stuff, but the sort of "F" words that were 110% responsible for Eamons one-hit wonder being bought by every naughty 10 year old earlier this year. Cakes version of Gloria Gaynors hit "I will survive" is just painful to listen to as it sounds as if the band and the vocals are several pints of beer apart from each other, in terms of timing...

 

Similarly, if anyone LIKES that TV advert for "Crusha" Milk Shake concentrate, where the cut'n'paste kittens are wearing berets, and playing accordians in a field, then please, rush out and buy, or download the group "ELBOW"'s cover version of Destinys Childs "Independant Woman"...complete with accordians...

 

I wonder if its too late to say "What List?" at 8:00pm, on the big day...Yes it is...and no, I wouldnt say that.

 

The two things that I really want are as follows:

 

On the night, the bride and groom (and their nominated representatives) do NOT start telling me to take off tracks that weren't on their Forbidden list...

 

On the night, the bride & groom allow me to play a FAIR percentage of their guests requests in amongst the B&G's playlist (excluding "Forbidden" requests of course).

 

Fingers crossed.

[Gary 0]

Its worth me adding some background info here.

 

This particular gig, was passed to me by the venue at which the function is being held. The venue give all Bride & Grooms to-be, a copy of my own Wedding Music Sheet - basically a nicely laid out form which has been adapted and "re-done" several times over the last 19+ years.

 

The form has all the usual boxes for the happy couple to-be to complete, eg: Their names as they prefer to be called by, eg: Mick instead of Micheal, Lizzy instead of Elizabeth..., "Chosen First Record", "Any records/Music NOT to play" etc... it also has a space (About a third of a side of A4) for music which they would like to hear.

 

Whilst the "norm" is for these request sheets to reach me several weeks prior to the wedding date, this particular bride & groom only returned their sheet, and the three page attachment, the day before I started this thread/topic.

 

Like a few of you above, had I known the type of music that they wanted, right from the word "go!" then I would have probably turned this booking down - explaining honestly that I (at that time) didn't have more than 60% of the tracks which they wanted, had never been asked for about 80% the tracks they requested, and overall that I felt that I would not be able to keep all of their guests entertained using the music parameters written down.

 

However, this couple didn't send me the list early enough for me to turn the gig down with what I would feel would be enough notice for them to find another disco - also I'm not sure that the venue would have smiled on such a practice either. I have to admit that I'm wondering if the late return of the music sheet was deliberate. http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/huh.gif Could it be that other disco's had already turned them down as soon as an early music list had been unleashed on them http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/scared.gif ... certainly explains why they kept me in the dark until 2.5 weeks to go... http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/boff.gif

 

 

[Paul Forsyth 0]

http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/notworthy.gif

Gary, you already seem to be getting on top of this, and although it is far from a dream gig, I'm sure that with the work you're putting into this, it will be.

 

Good luck with the rest of the prep. and I look forward to hearing how the night goes.

 

http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/thumbup.gif

 

Vinnie

[Ian Stewart 0]

QUOTE

I will also be printing out some information slips, possibly on the rear of the request slips, or maybe on a seperate A6 sized form asking the guests not to ask for any of "The following tracks/artists, as the Bride & Groom have specifically asked for these not to be played during "their big day". This should nip any "kylie" requests "in the bud".

 

Just as a word of warning, the bride & groom may find this action to be a little rude, so I would check before you put these out.

 

I feel this because a few months ago I had a similar list with do not plays, when someone asked for one of these tracks (repeatedly), I explained why I was not playing the tune, the guest went to the B&G and asked why, the gromm then asked me not to tell the guesta they had a not to play list, as they felt embarresed.

 

I still think that you should speak to the B&G before the event, because on the day they will have so much on their mind that they will probably not want to be bothered.

 

Also regarding the music, over the years, I have often asked the B&G to bring along the more obscure tunes, not once has this been a problem

[kazzachi 0]

The easiest answer when a b&g give you a DO NOT PLAY list - then a guest asks for it... just say to the guest "sorry, but I dont have that track".... Keeps the b&g happy and the guest then cant complain cos you didnt play his/her request!

[mick 0]

I'm sure that you are well on top of the job and it will probably turn out nothing like we all imagine. How many gigs actually go as planned, not many. Anyway it's their day and you are without doubt the best person to make it special for them.

Go get em Gary http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/thumbup.gif

[Gary 0]

QUOTE (kazzachi @ Sep 28 2004, 10:11 AM)

The easiest answer when a b&g give you a DO NOT PLAY list - then a guest asks for it... just say to the guest "sorry, but I dont have that track".... Keeps the b&g happy and the guest then cant complain cos you didnt play his/her request!

Kazza, here's a first - I'd have to slightly disagree with your suggestion on this occasion. But only in this particular instance.

 

Given that the bride (who incidently is wearing a dark charcoal grey http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/yucky.gif wedding dress on the day http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/533.gif ) has included some extremely well known, and frequently requested artists on her forbidden list, I would get the incredulous comments of "What? you mean you havent got ANYTHING by that artist ???....call yourself a DJ ?!?!?!"

 

But yes...if the "Play" list, and the forbidden list were reversed, I would certainly use your suggestion. I used the "Sorry, havent got that" only last Saturday when someone asked for "Motorhead: Ace of spades", 10 minutes before the end of the gig, even though I know I've got it and its about halfway down disc 1 of "Greatest Pub Jukebox ever" CD, in row three of my silver cd case...(ish)...

 

 

[kazzachi 0]

http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/042.gif In that case gazza.. go with my second favourite "excuse"..... just say "Oh, im really sorry, I love that track/artist.... but I tried to cue it up a few minutes ago and it seems that there is a great big scratch on the disc and it wont play!...." - that one always works too! http://www.dj-forum.co.uk/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif